Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Posted by guffyconservative on 05/02/2011
So Osama Bin Laden was killed yesterday. Now what kind of political blogger would I be if I didn’t post something about this? (btw: to me, this doesn’t count as a post, Mr. Fleming) ([update] this kinda does).
Let me first say that, as a Christian, I can’t jibe condoning killing of any kind with the Bible. That said, the world is certainly a better place without that monster and his death does not grieve me in the slightest.
Now some people have had interesting reactions to this news. The Wikipedia section on his death states “In Pakistan some people were reported to be shocked at the unauthorized incursion by US armed forces.” Really? If they know Osama was the target, are they actually surprised that we went in without their permission or knowledge? Pakistan isn’t exactly a staunch ally and Osama didn’t exactly throw a shoe at the President.
Now, of course, there’s the subject of who gets the credit. Naturally, Obama is receiving no small amount of praise for this. Honestly, I don’t think any President deserves any significant amount of credit. They don’t work sources for intel or fly the choppers to the target or participate in the firefight. They basically do little more than sign off on the mission. Even so, my first reaction was that Bush (or even Clinton) should get more credit because he at least started the search for Osama, whereas Obama has professed for the longest time that we should be out of the Middle East. After a little more research, it appears Obama does deserve some credit, as he was somewhat involved in the days leading up to the operation; he certainly deserves credit for not letting on about what was going on (something I doubt I could have done), although I find this to be a disturbing pattern in this President:
The president made the decision to undertake the operation at 8:20 a.m. on April 29th in the White House’s Diplomatic Room before he left to survey tornado damage in Alabama. Tom Donilon, his National Security Advisor, prepared the formal orders and convened the principals at 3 p.m. that same day to complete the planning.
The next day, without giving off a hint of the weighty operation being planned, Obama prepared for and delivered his address at the annual White House Correspondent’s Association dinner. The next morning he played nine holes of golf.
So, all in all, Obama may deserve some credit, but remember that if America had gone along with his original wishes, Osama would not only still be alive, but possibly even able to operate openly with a lack of any kind of American military presence.
Now some jokes have popped into my head while writing this and, I’m sorry, but I just have to get them out.
First, there’s the post’s title. Get it? “Laden,” as in, “burdened with”? …..shutup, you stupid crickets…
Osama Bin Laden to rest
And finally, the gamer in me just wants to say: BOOM! Headshot!
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Posted in Achievements, Clintons, Death Penalty, Humor, Islam, Obama, Presidents | Tagged: (although, (as, (btw:, (he, 29th, 3, 8:20, A, a.m., able, about, actually, address, Advisor, after, alabama, alive, all, ally, along, america, american, amount, and, annual, any, appears, april, Are, armed, Association, at, Basically, be, because, before, being, Better, Bible, bin, blogger, Bush, but, by, can't, certainly, choppers, christian, clinton, complete, condoning, convened, correspondents, could, count, course, credit, damage, day, days, death, decision, delivered, deserve, deserves, didn't, dinner, Diplomatic, disturbing, do, does, doesn't;, Don't, done, Donilon, doubt.", East, even, exactly, find, firefight., First, Fleming). Let, fly, for, forces, formal, get, Gets, giving, Going, golf. So, gone, grieve, had, has, Have, head, hint, his, holes, honestly, house, House’s, I, I'm, if, in, incursion, intel, interesting, into, involved, is, Isn't, It, jibe, jokes, Just, killed, killing, kind, know, knowledge?, lack, laden, leading, least, left, letting, Little, longest, Made, may, Me!, middle, military, mission, monster, More, morning, Mr., My, National, Naturally, news, next, nine, No, not, now, Obama, of, off, on, Only, openly, operate, operation;, or, orders, original, osama, out, out. First, p.m., Pakistan, participate, pattern, people, permission, place, planned, planning, played, political, popped, possibly, post, post's, praise, prepared, presence. Now, president, President. Now, principals, professed, reaction, reactions, really, receiving, remember, reported, research, room, said, same, Say, Search, section, security, shocked, shoe, should, sign, significant, slightest. Now, small, so, Some, something, somewhat, Sorry, sources, started, states, staunch, still, subject, surprised, survey, target, than, that, the, their, them, There's, they, think, This, throw, time, title., to, tom, tornado, unauthorized, undertake, Up, us, Was, we, weighty, went, Were, what, whereas, While, white, who, Wikipedia, wishes, With, without, work, world, would, writing, yesterday. | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 03/09/2011
A while ago, Frank J. wrote an essay about his plan for world peace. I’ll give you a hint – it combines the capabilities and research of NASA with the products developed in the Manhattan Project.
But upon stumbling across this infograph, I believe I have found an even better solution. You see, nuking the moon is all well and good for intimidating terrorists, but it still leaves us with the problem of that giant monstrosity of a rock hanging over our heads, moving our large bodies of water at will and constantly causing people to turn into wolves for some unknown reason. How do we get rid of this unruly and presumptuous neighbor? That’s right, we destroy it with a planet-killing battle station!
Now, I know what those of you who like this idea are thinking; “We’ll never get the general public to agree to build something called the ‘Death’ Star.” You’re probably right. But, see, unlike Alderaan, there’s no life on the moon, so there’s really no need to call it the “Death” Star. Rather, since it would firmly establish world peace and get rid of a neighbor who has a Wilson-like tendency to hide his face from us, we could call it something more appropriate, like “Neighborhood Watch Planetoid of World Peace.” Doesn’t that roll off the tongue better than “Death Star”?
And I know some of you practically-minded folks are thinking; “Sure it’s a great idea, but nukes are cheap and plentiful (heck, if Second Wave could get their hands on one, why can’t we?) and this battle station sounds expensive.” Nonsense! I mean, yes, it will cost roughly $15,960,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 for the raw materials alone (excluding equipment), but I have personal assurances from President Obama that this will not add “one dime” to the deficit. In fact, not only will it get rid of our loony neighbor, but it will create and/or save thousands of jobs (Wookiee slave labor excepted, of course).
But there are probably some naysayers among you (and some non-equestrian pessimists as well) who are thinking about what the effects of such an explosion would be on our home planet. You’re probably thinking that there will be billions or trillions of meteorites laying waste to a large portion of the globe. I have a simple, two-part response to that concern:
- We wait until the moon is over some place unimportant, like Antartica or the Ukraine (seriously, it just bugs me that that place is so hard to hold on to in Risk).
- WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT FREE MOON ROCKS?!
Clearly, my plan is the world’s best hope for world peace. So if you don’t support it, you’re just an ignorant peon bitterly clinging to your giant space-rock!
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Posted in Healthcare, Humor, Spending | Tagged: (as, 000, 1, 15, 960, A, about, across, add, ago.", agree, Alderaan, all, alone., among, an, and, and/or, Antartica, appropriate.", Are, assurances, at, –, ‘Death’, “Death, “Death”, “Neighborhood, “one, “Sure, “We’ll, battle, be, believe, Better, billions, bodies, bugs, build, but, call, called, can’t, capabilities, causing, cheap, combines, concern:, constantly, cost, could, course, create, deficit, destroy, developed, dime”, do, doesn’t, effects, equipment, essay, establish, even, excepted, excluding, expensive.”, explosion, face, fact, firmly, folks?, for, found, frank, from, general, get, giant, give, globe., good, great, hands, hanging, Hard, has, Have, heads, heck?, hide, hint, his, hold, home, how, I, I’ll, idea, if, in, infograph, intimidating, into, is, It, It’s, J., jobs., Just, know, labor, large, laying, leaves, life, Like, loony, Manhattan, materials, Me!, mean, meteorites, monstrosity, Moon, More, moving, NASA, naysayers;, need, neighbor, never, No, non-equestrian, Nonsense!, not, nukes, nuking, Obama, of, off, on, one, Only, or, our, over, peace, peace.”, people, personal, pessimists, place, plan, planet, planet-killing, Planetoid, plentiful, portion, practically-minded, president, presumptuous, Probably, problem, products, Project. But, public, rather, raw, really, reason, research, response, rid, right, Risk, rock, roll, roughly, save, second, see, seriously, simple, since, slave, so, solution., Some, something, sounds, star, Star.”, Star”? And, station, station! Now, still, stumbling, such, tendency, terrorists, than, that, that’s, the, their, there, there’s, thinking, This, those, thousands, to, tongue, trillions, turn, two-part, Ukraine, unimportant, unknown, unlike, unruly, Until, upon, us, wait, waste, Watch, water, Wave, we, We'll, what, While, who, why, will, Wilson-like, With, wolves, Wookiee, world, would, wrote, Yes], you, you’re | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 01/10/2011
I was just looking through an old Spam post and I found this:
Dentist Boca Raton
“Whether is belts or sunglasses, the accessories are the key. In today’s fashion, keeping up to the latest is become a challenge, a expense for sure. Quality cost quite a lot these days.”
It’s “an expense”, not “a expense.” I feel that’s the most glaring grammatical flaw here. And, yes, it is such a challenge keeping up to the latest. I mean, how am I supposed to know what brand of steel-toed boots are in vogue?
May I ask what this has to do with dentistry?
I don’t know how I missed it, but the poster’s name means “Dentist Mouth Rat”. Yeah. I totally want him/her/it working on my teeth.
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Posted in GC Random Thoughts, Humor | Tagged: conservative, dentist, gc, guffy, guffyconservative, mouth, Random, random thought, random thoughts, rat, responds, SCAAC, spam, thought, thoughts, to | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 11/18/2010
楊淑君
Thanks for an idea, buy imho main problem content 
(
Dude, your name doesn’t even appear on my keyboard. Next!
Bernarda Gretsch
Why have you deleted my post? It was very beneficial information and i assure atleast one person found it helpful unlike the rest of the comments on this web site. I’ll post it again. Sick of getting low numbers of useless visitors for your site? Well i want to share with you a fresh underground tactic that makes myself $900 on a daily basis on 100% AUTOPILOT. I could truthfully be here all day and going into detail but why dont you merely check their site out? There is a great video that explains everything. So if your serious about making effortless cash this is the website for you. Auto Traffic Avalanche
I’m sorry, but this site holsd to teh striktist standerds of gramar and speling. Yor post did not pas mustar. And how dare you talk about my visitors that way? Although if they were useless, I don’t see why I’d be sick of their low numbers…
Hey, if you’re on 100% AUTOPILOT, how are you making this post… wait a minute… you’re not even a real person are you, AUTOPILOT?! I feel so betrayed…
ceCODDERtg
fgfgfgfgfgfgfgf
And fgfgfgfgfgfgfgf to you, too!
Beverly Yarosh
Amazing site you have here. If you will find the time, take a look at our website Click Here I’ve been spending so much time on
…on what? Beverly? Beverly?! BEVERLY?! ON WHAT?! Please, I must know! What have you been spending so much time on?!
ZipleRaphepay
If you are taking steroids, you should undergo a yearly ophthalmologic examination because of the risk of development of cataract.
It’s all good. I’m 6’1 and 160 lbs, so I don’t think the steroids are working anyway.
cgothp
ddfdfdfdfd
cgothp, I need to introduce you to a friend of mine named ceCODDERtg
NagmeegeWak
Looking to save time in php development for APIs for Authorize net payment gateway. API Code Integrations has
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of a new API and they’ll use you as a beta tester to test out new APIs. So visit them today and get your new API free.
API Code Integrations
Yeah, I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but API’s aren’t really something you buy… If you paid for one, you got ripped off, dude.
More importantly, how did you figure out that I’m a computer science major from me posting the Treaty of Ghent?
forex currency
I’m getting a javascript error, is anyone else?
No, that’s not an error. I assure you, all deletions of your posts are 100% intentional …and have nothing to do with javascript.
currency news
I’m so thrilled with the new search of your weblog. Gratitude so a lot for keeping it running!
‘Tis the season to be gratitude. After all, don’t we have a holiday next week called Thankfulnessgiving? But seriously dude, it’s “blog” not “weblog.” Get with the times.
brootheeffolf
Sorry for message – it’s test
ing my patience.
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Posted in Humor, Spam | Tagged: college, conservative, gc, guffy, guffyconservative, respond, responds, spam, surviving | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 08/25/2010
…you have a red neck.
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Posted in Humor, You Might Be A Redneck if... | Tagged: A, be, conservative, guffy, guffyconservative, Have, if, might, neck, Red, redneck, SCAAC, you, you might be a redneck | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 08/24/2010
Jaime Jacob
What would a huge increase in relevant traffic mean for your business? If I could greatly increase the amount of customers who are interested in your products and services, wouldn’t you be interested
Well, since I don’t have a business (or customers), I’m guessing it wouldn’t mean anything. That said, I gotta give Jaime credit. So far, he’ s the only one who’s put the slightest bit of effort into pretending to be a real person.
Body Workout 101
But I Thought Guns Caused Crime « SCAAC…
I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog 
…
Mr. Workout, no one says/types “weblog” anymore. And we have these nifty little bits of code that inform us of trackbacks. Some constructive criticism? The smiley makes me want to murder your “weblog”, not read it.
Local Search and Find
Local Search and Find…
Local Search and Find…
I get it already. I need to search for and find something locally. Jeez.
Okay, I’m searching.
Ooh! I found a keyboard!
emusicorg
Download free music is true? Who among us does not like to listen to a song every now and then? But how many of us are willing to pay money in order to listen to our favorite album? Now, you can downloadable free purchase music from Mtv Storm.
Apparently so. I was unaware that was even in question – or, rather, a question.
No one.
Most of us. Or anyone who isn’t a thief. Especially since legalsounds.com sells songs for $0.09. (This ain’t a joke guys; the only catch is that you put credit in an account in a lump sum (minimum’s like $15) (like buying a gift card) and you then just spend money from that account; I put $40 in my sophomore year of high school and I still have money in it.)
You see, it’s the “free purchase” that gave you away. That’s when I knew you could fakeable.
emurbmeesetry
Wassup
I’m looking to learn Krav Maga. I have some MMA experience and I’m wondering if Krav Maga is right for me. I’m looking for a mix of Self Defense and a Krav Maga Workout
I would appreciate any advice
Holla
Joe
You could start by getting a scarier name than “Joe”, though I think Frank’s younger brother was a pretty good fighter…
Anyway, was Benjamin Franklin a black belt or something?
gewinnen online
Tja, das Leben kann so einfach sein, mann muss nur gluck haben.
roulette online gewinnen
Da fragt man sich beim lesen ja schon, ob man nicht irgendwie auf den Kopf gefallen ist.
Internet Roulette
Lustig, ich hatte garnicht gedacht das das *wirklich* so funktioniert. Komische Welt.
Roulet
Ich denke das ist eh nur ne Modeerscheinung.
Onlinecasino Roulette
An sich ne gute Sache, ich frag mich nur, ob das auch dauerhaft brauchbar bleibt.
Does “sales tax” have some special meaning in Germany? Or is “school” a codeword for “online German gambling” or something? Or do German kindergartners have gambling problems?
Truman Mens Jeans Sale
By doing so your blog becomes more appealing and interesting for your audience but in terms of SEO and search engines they love a fresh updating blog site.
Uh…okay. I didn’t know search engines were capable of loving sites… oh, no! Does this mean the robot revolution has begun?! Dang you, Dean Kamen and Larry Page!
medical
your blog’s design is simple and clean….
Mind if I use some of the information from this post if I provide a link back to your site?…
Sure. That content is totally original. Why are all you people so obsessed with how simple and clean SCAAC is? I’m offended. It’s intentionally messy.
RainodoriRase703
hi, does anyone have a good site for Neopets Cheats?
That’s pretty pathetic. I’ve never understood Neopets, but I’ve always assumed it was one of those things that cheating totally defeats the purpose of. Look at that, I dangled my preposition. That’s right. I’m a rebel.
Dentist Boca Raton
Whether is belts or sunglasses, the accessories are the key. In today’s fashion, keeping up to the latest is become a challenge, a expense for sure. Quality cost quite a lot these days.
It’s “an expense”, not “a expense.” I feel that’s the most glaring grammatical flaw here. And, yes, it is such a challenge keeping up to the latest. I mean, how am I supposed to know what brand of steel-toed boots are in vogue?
May I ask what this has to do with dentistry?
Zopyicrompino
Mr. Hermann considers the accommodations, called the Window Pavilion, his “opus.”
When he builds in the Hollywood Hills or Beverly Hills, Mr. Herman says he is great restricted to a minute lot.
This barrels measures give three-and-a-half acres and gave him the rank he needed to bring into being a to the quick featuring walls of glass.
……………..okaaaaay. Been reaching for the whiskey jug a bit too often, have we? Something about a pavilion becomes Beverly Hills becomes a mixed comment about volume/surface area? The first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is…something. How am I supposed to know? I’m not an alcoholic! *twitch* I can quit any time I want!
Cialis Online
You have hit the mark. Thought excellent, I support.
Also support thought excellent, I do. Strange grammar, you have. Hit the mark, have I. Because I did. Do or do not. There is no try.
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Posted in Humor, Spam | Tagged: $0.09, 's, (he, *wirklich*, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, -, 101, 15, 40, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, :, A, account., added, advice, ain't, album, already, among, amount, an, and, any, anymore, anyone, anything, Anyway, Apparently, appreciate, Are, auf, away, … Mr, «, be, beim, belt, Benjamin, bit, bits, black, body, brother, business, but, buying, by, can, card, catch, Caused, code, codeword, com, conservative, constructive, could, credit, crime, criticism, customers, Da, das, Defense, den, denke, do, does, Don't, Download, downloadable, effort, eh, einfach, emurbmeesetry, emusicorg, entry, especially, even, Every, Experience, fakeable, far, favorite, fighter, find, Find…, Find… I, for, found, fragt, Frank's, franklin, Free, from, funktioniert, gambling, garnicht, gave, gc, gc responds to spam, gedacht, gefallen, german, Germany, get, getting, gewinnen, gift, give, gluck, good, gotta, greatly, guessing, guffy, guffyconservative, guns, guys, haben, hatte, Have, high, Holla, how, huge, I, I'm, I’m, I’ve, ich, if, in, increase, inform, interested, interested Well, interesting, Internet, into, irgendwie, is, Isn't, ist, It, its, ja, Jacob, Jaime, Jeez, joe, Joe You, joke, Just, kann, keyboard, kindergartners, knew, Komische, Kopf, Krav, learn, Leben, legalsounds, lesen, Like, listen, Little, local, locally, looking, lump, Lustig, Maga, Makes, man, mann, many, Me!, mean, meaning, minimum's, mix, mma, Modeerscheinung, money, most, Mtv, murder, Music, muss, My, name, ne, need, nicht, nifty, No, not, now, nur, ob, of, Okay, on, one, online, Only, Ooh, or, order, our, pay, person, pretending, pretty, problems;, products, purchase, put, question, rather, Read, real, relevant, responds, responds to spam, right, Roulet, roulette, said, sales, says/types, SCAAC, SCAAC…, scarier, schon, school, Search, searching, see, sein, self, sells, services, sich, since, slightest, smiley, so, Some, something, song, songs, sophomore, spam, special, spend, start, still, Storm, sum, tax, than, that, that's, the, then, these, thief, think, This, though, thought, Tja, to, Trackback, trackbacks, traffic, true, unaware, us, want, Was, Wassup, we, weblog, Welt, what, when, who, who's, willing, wondering, Workout, would, wouldn’t, year, you, younger, your | 1 Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 08/22/2010
…the blocked components of SB 1070 are “undocumented law enforcement.”
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Posted in Arizona SB 1070, Humor, If They're "Undocumented Immigrants," Then..., Illegal Immigration | Tagged: 1070, Are, blocked, components, conservative, enforcement, guffy, guffyconservative, if, if they're undocumented immigrants, if they're undocumented immigrants then, immigrants, law, of, SB, sb 1070, SCAAC, the, then, they, they're, undocumented | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 08/21/2010
…the Buggers were “undocumented immigrants” in the Hegemony.
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Posted in Humor, If They're "Undocumented Immigrants," Then..., Illegal Immigration | Tagged: Are, battle, battle school, Buggers, conservative, earth, ender, guffy, guffyconservative, hegemon, Hegemony., if, if they're undocumented immigrants, if they're undocumented immigrants then, immigrants, in, peter, SCAAC, school, the, then, they, they're, undocumented, Were, wiggin, wiggins | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 08/20/2010
…so are the Psychlos.
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Posted in Humor, If They're "Undocumented Immigrants," Then..., Illegal Immigration | Tagged: Are, battlefield, battlefield earth, conservative, earth, guffy, guffyconservative, if, if they're undocumented immigrants, if they're undocumented immigrants then, immigrants, psychlos, SCAAC, so, the, then, they, they're, undocumented | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 08/19/2010
No, I did not make this. I stole it, as usual, from IMAO:
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Posted in Frank J, Humor, IMAO, Other Blogs, Re-Posts | Tagged: anger, anger level, arrogant, conservative, department, dept, dhs, Fleming, frank, frank j, guffy, guffyconservative, homeland, homeland security, IMAO, in, in my arrogant opinion, J., level, liberal, My, opinion, rage, SCAAC, security, warning | Leave a Comment »
