We’re Not Liable For None Of Our Choices

Another parody I wrote (no need to fear this one actually getting sung; no guy in my family can sing).

To the tune of Beer For My Horses:

Joey, man, come on. The mainstream news

Says we’re really hot. They don’t have any clue.

My buddy blew up a building.

My buddy says I’m a star.

My buddy got away.

My buddy didn’t go too far. Yeah.

He didn’t go too far.

.

Grandpappy told my pappy “Back in my day, son

A man didn’t lie ’bout the fightin’ he’d done,

Didn’t promise hope to us,

Not to you or me, round up all of them bad boys,

Make them part of his team. Don’t make them part of your team.

.

‘Cuz substance is the one thing you will never find

If you promise hope ‘n change without them being defined.”

When those ballots settle they’ll sing a victory tune

If ACORN don’t register any loons.

We’ll raise up our glasses against U.S. forces,

Singing “We’re not liable for none of our choices.”

.

Not enough thugs doin’ dirty deeds.

Too many objects to slaking my greed.

It’s time the long arm of the law shut Rush Limbaugh down!

It’s time the great Fairness Doctrine came back around.

You can bet we’ll shut him down.

.

‘Cuz substance is the one thing they will never find

Since we promise hope ‘n change without them being defined.

When those ballots settle they’ll sing a victory tune

If ACORN don’t register any loons.

We’ll raise up our glasses against U.S. forces,

Singing “We’re not liable for none of our choices.”

Singing “We’re not liable for none of our choices.”

The irony is that Toby Keith is a Democrat.

ACORN’s got More Nerve than a Klansman in Boston

I was watching Red Eye last night and the first thing that came up was the ACORN video done by O’Keefe and Giles. I haven’t mentioned the incident yet on this blog, but you can probably guess where my sympathies lie. If either of the latter ever run for an office on which I can vote, it’s a forgone conclusion I’ll be voting for them (unless, of course, it’s something really technical, like surgeon general or secretary of the treasury). If any of the former shows up on my doorstep, I’ll start daydreaming about the Second Amendment. And my assortment of knives. And then hopefully they’ll be scared by my expression and leave. If they didn’t get a clue quick, I’d take them prisoner until the next Concealed Carry on Campus meeting.

For you, dear ACORN executives, I have some PR advice. When a story like this gets out, you have some options:

1. Do your best to make everyone forget about the story and fire the employees in question.
2. Side with the employees and sue those who did their civic duty.
3. Try to do both.

Which one did you pick? Three? Where did you go to school, North Korea? You attack people who probably are idolized by everyone who knows the story while at the same time appearing two-face, since you publicly condemned the employees in question. Real smart.

To you, Mr. James O’Keefe, I hope you become a fine documentary maker someday. I promise to watch at least one. And to buy at least one to redeem myself for living in a house with a copy of Sicko.

To you, Ms. Hannah Giles, I wish the best of luck in whatever career you choose. I sincerely hope you’ll choose to be an investigative reporter or something similar. You have a lot more to offer than some members of the media (*cough* OlbermannMaddowRoesgan *cough*).

And to you, Mr. Andrew Breitbart, I give thanks for bringing honor to our first name. May you continue to publicize quality news and may your pictures look less corny.

The videos in question:

Up next, “Obama Kids” song.