IMAO The Emperor’s New Jobs

The Emperor’s New Jobs

In Emperor Obama’s kingdom, there was a shortage of jobs. So Obama hired smart economists with degrees and stuff who sounded really super smart to get jobs. So they went to work making jobs, seizing all the assets of the land to spend on their schemes. Soon, the economists when to Obama and said, “We’ve saved and created many new jobs, but they’re completely invisible to dumb, racist teabaggers. So if you can’t see the jobs–”

“I can see the jobs!” Obama interrupted. “I’m smart! I can see millions of them!”

So Obama ran out to address his people. “I am happy to announce we’ve saved or created 3.6 million new jobs. That makes me the smartest emperor ever. And if it seems like we’ve only lost more jobs since I’ve went to work on the issue, that’s because the jobs are invisible to stupid people who are racist and stuff.”

A lone child then yelled out, “The Emperor has no jobs!” But no one could hear the child over everyone laughing at what a stupid dummy the Emperor was. And no one worried the Emperor would do anything to them because he was completely impotent.

THE END

Favorite Quotes

Edward Abby:

• “A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.”

.

Abraham Lincoln:

• “To stand in silence when they should be protesting makes cowards of men.”
• “Don’t interfere with anything in the Constitution. That must be maintained, for it is the only safeguard of our liberties.”
• “You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.”

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Tracy Byrd:

• (A Good Way To Get On My Bad Side)
  “Politician on my TV,
  Says he’s only lookin’ out for me
  Says he knows what the poor man needs in the long run

  But every year he gives himself a raise,
  Gets a chunk with every buck I make
  Now he’s talkin’ like he wants to take my shotgun”

• (A Good Way To Get On My Bad Side)
  “There oughtta be a law against cowboy rap,
  And all that boy band crap,
  A little sissy in a cowboy hat ain’t country”

obdaddy

Here’s a rough transcript of the debate between me and obdaddy. It started in the comments of the video of Alan Grayson’s attack on the Republican healthcare stance. Wading through the hordes of commenters has proved impossible, but it eventually moved to my channel’s comments. I know my grammar was atrocious. Most of this was done in the wee hours of the morning.

obdaddy:

whats the matter, kid? too chicken to play with the big boys? post on the video if you want to engage with me, let me show the 6 people watching what a tool you are.

obdaddy:

Look, junior, the tea baggers are protesting spending…of our tax dollars. Its offensive that they’re trying to co-opt the tea party name. as i said, their signs and chants are racist, not there mission, although I’m sure a big motivating factor is racism. You have Fox ‘news’ listed as your favorite news source, please don’t lie about not listening to their long line of [edit], beck, orielly, hannity, coulture, hume…And peewee is that knucklehead above this post, right there in your videos. [edit By 'peewee', he's referring to Steven Crowder, in this video]

obdaddy:

And you’ve got to be kidding with the whole ‘liberals started the town hall fights’ thing. you’re prophets beck and limbaugh spent weeks rallying you sheep. Revisionist history only works if nobody’s paying attention. Now go to bed, I’m sure you must have a killer kegger to hit tomorrow, bra.

obdaddy:

i said waterboarding and torture, son. Threat levels were raised before elections, trying to bring about judgement day (while impossible, why not just try and bring down the wrath of the easter bunny, too) by trying to start a holy war is treason, the question isn’t what I did for katrina, its what a cluster [edit] the bush admin made of the ‘recovery’, and are you freakin’ kidding me re: bush/ north korea? Kid, get your head out of limbaugh’s [edit], i promise you, the world smells a lot better out here. Bring pee wee with you, he looks as though he could use a good deep breath.

Me:

“whats the matter, kid? too chicken to play with the big boys? post on the video if you want to engage with me, let me show the 6 people watching what a tool you are.”

are you really that dumb? Why would I be chicken of anonymous Internet users? There’s limits to commenting on the actual video – from character length to numbers of posts. THAT’S why I posted on your profile, genius. [edit I believe he deleted those posts. I cannot find them on his page.]

Why are you calling me a tool? When did I insult you? When did I demean you? You have insulted me, been disrespectful to me, and used lewd slurs to refer to people I admire. You criticize so-called “teabaggers” for having hateful chants while making a post such as this. [edit Not sure which post I'm referring to]

“Look, junior, the tea baggers are protesting spending…of our tax dollars. Its offensive that they’re trying to co-opt the tea party name. as i said, their signs and chants are racist, not there mission, although I’m sure a big motivating factor is racism. You have Fox ‘news’ listed as your favorite news source, please don’t lie about not listening to their long line of [edit], beck, orielly, hannity, coulture, hume…And peewee is that knucklehead above this post, right there in your videos.”

Please indicate how the Tea Partiers are racist. I will admit that there is a significant difference in what the Tea Parties of today are protesting and what the Boston Tea Party was protesting – but why are you offended? Were you at the Boston Tea Party? Do you know how those men would have felt about today’s spending? I do. They would have been disgusted. Not because of “taxation without representation,” to be sure, but all – or nearly all – of those men were in favor of power belonging to the states OR of the centralized government still being extremely limited.
Again, please indicate, specifically, how their signs and chants are racist. And let me remind you that the only (former) KKK member who I know of in Congress is a Democrat. And let me remind you that we conservatives opposed universal health care, gun control, bigger government, bigger spending, higher taxes, and all the other liberal things under the white liberal Presidents long before anyone had ever heard of Obama. I am opposed the [sic] the man on nearly every issue, but it has nothing to do with his race. My brother is an Indian. Two of my three roommates are black and we get along just fine. I lived with a black family for several years and those four boys were like brothers to me. I have two friends from Africa.
And I’d appreciate it if you’d stop insulting my integrity. I can assure you that I HAVE NEVER WATCHED GLENN BECK, though I like what I’ve heard about him. I’ve watched Hannity two – maybe three times. I watched O’Reilly once (and that was only because my BLACK, OBAMA-SUPPORTING friend was watching it [on his TV]). I’ve never read Coulter and have only seen her as a guest on other’s shows. I don’t know who Hume is. And I assume by “that knucklehead” you mean Crowder. I do watch Crowder, but he’s a source of entertainment, not information. If I hear a “fact” from him that I’d like to use to support my arguments, you’d better believe I’ll research it first. Ditto for Mr. Conservatism himself, Rush Limbaugh. I have Fox News listed as my favorite news source because I like it better than CNN, MSNBC, or any of those other networks. I still don’t use it much. I use a wide variety of places for my information, but Fox News is the most recognizable to others, and that’s why it’s on my profile. I am a true Bible-following Christian, sir, and as such I do not lie, do drugs, get drunk, be racist, hate others, be disrespectful intentionally, overeat, give false testimony, or any of a myriad other sins. The ones I do do, I am ashame of and constantly strive to cease doing. And I do not appreciate you accusing me of the opposite.

“And you’ve got to be kidding with the whole ‘liberals started the town hall fights’ thing. you’re prophets beck and limbaugh spent weeks rallying you sheep. Revisionist history only works if nobody’s paying attention. Now go to bed, I’m sure you must have a killer kegger to hit tomorrow, bra.”

Again, I’ve never watched Beck. And as for Limbaugh, I’m hardly a sheep. I haven’t even attended a Town Hall or Tea Party, though I wish the best for most of those who have. As for my plans tomorrow, I’m going to church and then – like a true capitalist conservative – I’m going to WORK. I have never attended and never plan to attend a kegger. Alcohol holds not the slightest bit of attraction to me – but don’t take that to mean I think it’s evil or anything like that. Drunkenness, yes, but drinking alcohol, no.

At the moment, I cannot think of anyone (aside from the obvious – Hussein, Osama, and the like) who is less suited to call me “bra” than yourself. So far, the only thing I can see that we have in common is that we are American males.

“i said waterboarding and torture, son. Threat levels were raised before elections, trying to bring about judgement day (while impossible, why not just try and bring down the wrath of the easter bunny, too) by trying to start a holy war is treason, the question isn’t what I did for katrina, its what a cluster [edit] the bush admin made of the ‘recovery’, and are you freakin’ kidding me re: bush/ north korea? Kid, get your head out of limbaugh’s [edit], i promise you, the world smells a lot better out here. Bring pee wee with you, he looks as though he could use a good deep breath.”

No, you didn’t. You only said torture. You never specfically mentioned waterboarding. As for torture itself, I see the benefits, but this is one of the extremely rare issues on which we may agree. I am against torture. A “holy war,” really? Seems to me that, while you may be right, threat levels would indeed be higher during elections – what better time for terrorists to try something?

As for the Katrina thing – look at yourself before you criticize others. Again, I ask you, what did you do to help your countrymen? And Bush, and the other authorities, cannot be held solely responsible for people who refused to listen to them in the first place. That said, I do think Bush messed up quite a bit with Katrina. But, please, keep a civil “tongue” in your typing.

Back to North Korea – No, I’m not. Name one time that Kim Jong Il shot off missiles during the Bush Administration. As for Limbaugh – I don’t take everything he says as God-given truth. I don’t even recall him ever mentioning North Korea in this context (I wasn’t listening around the time of the hole [sic] missile thing). I do indeed listen to him. But, I listen to him, and watch Crowder, and other things to hear stuff, but only so I know what to research. Tell me, do you listen to Rush? I’m guessing not, given your opinion. So, how do you know what he says?

Just for fun, let’s compare on of the guys on my side – Rush Limbaugh – to one of the guys on your side – Obama.

Drugs: Rush got addicted to prescription medicine that he originally needed. He then got the help he needed and has been clean since.
Obama is still a smoker, though he tries to hide it.

Honesty: While Rush may not always be right, I have never known him to tell a lie. If you have, please inform me.
Obama, on the other hand, has told many, many lies (NONE of which I heard of via Rush). He lied about Selma. He lied about WWII. He lied about several of his acquaintences. If you want specifics, just ask.

Speaking Ability: Rush speaks from his beliefs, his convictions. He may not speak perfectly, but he generally communicates his ideas well.
Obama speaks from a script, and not well at that. He mispeaks constantly. He can even read the wrong speech without realizing it!

If you would like to compare them on another issue/trait/topice/whatever, just name it.

Favorite Quotes

George Washington:

• “Government is not reason. It is not eloquence, it is force; never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.”
• “A slender acquaintance with the world must convince every man that actions, not words, are the true criterion of the attachment of friends.”
• “Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.”
• “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.”
• “Firearms are second only to the Constitution in importance; they are the peoples’ liberty’s teeth.”
• “Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.”
• “Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.”
• “If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.”
• “It will be found an unjust and unwise jealousy to deprive a man of his natural liberty upon the supposition he may abuse it.” (Guns, anyone?)
• “Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire, called conscience.”
• “The Constitution is the guide which I never will abandon.”
• “The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it.” (*cough* Biden *cough*)
• “The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments.”
• “The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere and everywhere restrains evil interference – they deserve a place of honor with all that’s good.”
• “To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace.”

IMAO Frank Advice For Life

Frank Advice For Life:

If you find a box on your doorstep labeled ‘Free Badger’, don’t open it; there could be a badger inside.

You Might Be A Redneck if…

…if you can see your basement through the bathroom floor.