Posted by guffyconservative on 07/31/2010
Quoted at Bad Example:
Hitler and his chauffeur are whizzing along a country road when a pig rushes out and is hit by their car. Spotting a nearby farm house, the chauffeur is sent up to inform the occupants of the demise of their animal. He returns with an armload of food and wine. Hitler is amazed.”Why did they give you that?”
“I do not know. All I did was knock on the door and say I am Hitler’s chauffeur and I killed the pig.”
Posted in Hitler Jokes | Tagged: (he, A, all, along, am, amazed., an, and, animal, Are, armload, at, bad, by, car, chauffeur, conservative, Country, demise, did, do, door, Example:, farm, food, give, guffy, guffyconservative, his, hit, hitler, Hitler's, house, I, inform, is, joke, killed, knock, know, nearby, not, occupants, of, on, out, pig, pig." hitler, Quoted, returns, road, rushes, Say, sent, Spotting, that, the, their, they, to, Up, Was, when, whizzing, why, wine., With, you | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 07/30/2010
Always keep your eyes on your goal… unless your goal is the Ark of the Covenant. It will melt your face if you look at it when they open it.
Posted in Favorite Quotes, Frank Advice For Life, Frank J, Frank J., IMAO, Re-Posts | Tagged: advice, Always, Ark, arrogant, at, conservative, Covenant., eyes, face, Fleming, for, frank, Frank Advice For Life, frank j, goal;, goal…, guffy, guffyconservative, if, IMAO, in, in my arrogant opinion, is, It, keep, life, look, melt, My, of, on, open, opinion, the, they, unless, when, will, you, your | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 07/30/2010
…your family owns a flounder gig. (true story)
Posted in True Story (from my life), You Might Be A Redneck if... | Tagged: A, be, family, flounder, gig, if, might, owns, redneck, story, true, you, you might be a redneck, youmightbearedneck, your | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 07/29/2010
“So has the Obama administration given an official opinion on the show Red Eye yet?”
“It would be funny if FOX News responded to the White House by putting Greg Gutfeld and Andy Levy on as regular anchors during the day.”
“‘FOX News: Not news… just awesome.’”
“Swine flu is pretty bad, but at least it’s not swine gonorrhea.”
“If Fred Thompson says you’ll like something I wrote, that means if you read it and don’t like it, you instantly die.”
“A fool-proof paternity test is to go back in time and kill who you think is your father and see if it creates a paradox.”
“If the Founding Fathers were so Smart, what’s with All the random capitalization of Words in the Constitution?”
“At least they didn’t randomly bold things and put things in caps. That’s nature’s way of telling you someone is an internet crank.”
“Why does spell check still tell me I should capitalize ‘internet’? Who capitalizes that word? Oh, I guess the Founding Father would.”
“I lived in Jersey for nine years. I still wake up screaming.”
“Over 8.5 million people live in NJ. What possible explanation is there for that? It’s not North Korea; you can leave any time!”
“I have a slogan that could turn the Virginia election around: ‘Creigh-zy for Creigh Deeds!’”
“New nickname for Obama: Sissy Nixon”
“A lot of corruption in Alaska. I guess it’s like how kids feel they can get away with things when they sit at the very back of the bus.”
“The Dog Whisperer vs. Scooby Doo; that would be something. Maybe he could also stop those kids from being so meddlesome.”
“Since I’m a humor expert, if I tell you something is funny and you don’t find it funny, that means your brain is stupid.”
“Liberals don’t hate conservatives. They just lash out at them from misplaced rage from their hatred of liberty and America.”
“New DNA evidence proves that Video was falsely convicted and executed for killing the Radio Star.”
“My football readiness level is high.”
“I hope people use me to sell products long after I’m dead. “Zombie Frank J. says buy Charmin.””
“They [The L.A. Angels] should be more like an angel of death and less like ‘Touched by an Angel.’”
Posted in Favorite Quotes, Frank J., Humor, IMAO, Random Thoughts | Tagged: andy, andy levy, arrogant, arrogant opinion, Bible, By The Bible, christian, conservative, eye, favorite, Favorite Quotes, Fleming, for, fox, FOX News, frank, frank j, Frank J. Fleming, greg, greg gutfeld, guffy, guffy conservative, guffychristian, guffyconservative, gutfeld, IMAO, imao.us, in my arrogant opinion, levy, limbaugh, michael, michael limbaugh, news, opinion, p4p, practice, programming, Programming 4 Practice, programming for practice, quote, quotes, Red, red eye, The Bible | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 07/29/2010
Every once in a while, stop and think about all the things you have in life to be grateful for. And then think of how secure those things are and who might know about them and whether those people will have to be eliminated to fully protect them.
Posted in Favorite Quotes, Frank Advice For Life, Frank J, Frank J., IMAO, Re-Posts | Tagged: A, about, advice, all, and, Are, arrogant, be, conservative, eliminated, Every, Fleming, for, frank, Frank Advice For Life, frank j, fully, grateful, guffy, guffyconservative, Have, how, IMAO, in, in my arrogant opinion, know, life, might, My, of, once, opinion, people, protect, Secure, stop, the, them, then, things, think, those, to, whether, While, who, will, you | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 07/29/2010
…you’re on your computer in the living room and you watch your dad come running through with a gleeful expression and a rifle… because he just shot a squirrel from his bathroom window.
Posted in True Story (from my life), You Might Be A Redneck if... | Tagged: (he, A, and, bathroom, be, because, come, computer, dad, expression, from, gleeful, his, if, in, Just, Living, might, on, redneck, rifle, room, running, shot, squirrel, the, through, Watch, window, With, you, You Might Be A Redneck if, you're, your | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 07/29/2010
Obama is so useless and ineffective as president that…:
…even though he was elected for very little more than just his attitude and looks, he’s still not even close to winning hottest head of state. He’s really useless in every conceivable way.
…the turkey he pardoned immediately went back to doing the same crimes that got it sentenced to execution in the first place.
Posted in Favorite Quotes, Frank J., IMAO, Obama, Obama is so useless..., Ridicule | Tagged: (as, (he, and, attitude, …even, …the, Back, close, conceivable, conservative, crimes, doing, elected, even, Every, execution, First, Fleming, for, frank, frank j, Got, guffy, guffyconservative, head, he’s, his, hottest, IMAO, immediately, in, ineffective, is, It, Just, Little, looks, More, not, Obama, of, pardoned, place, president, really, same, sentenced, so, state, still, than, that, that…:, the, though, to, turkey, useless, very, Was, way, went, winning | Leave a Comment »
Posted by guffyconservative on 07/28/2010
Congress did something right for a change. Not that you’d expect any different from the US Congress on something like this. Democrats want to protect their journalist buddies and Republicans want other countries to stay out of our affairs.
Posted in Media Bias | Tagged: (Passed), A, affairs. "Libel, americans, and, any, bill, British, buddies, change, congress, conservative, countries, democrats, did, different, expect, for, from, guffy, guffyconservative, journalist, Libel, Like, not, of, on, Other, our, out, protect, Protects, republicans, right, something, stay, Suits, that, the, their, This, to, Tourism", us, want, you'd | Leave a Comment »
obdaddy Returns
Posted by guffyconservative on 07/30/2010
After all this time, obdaddy suddenly leaves a comment on my YouTube page:
For reference, here’s the ridiculous diatribe. Ok. What’s ridiculous about asking why I would lie about Beck when I admit to listening to Limbaugh (and, if asked, I can give a list of things I disagree with Rush about)? What’s ridiculous about expecting him to give some evidence of caring for society’s weak? What’s ridiculous about noting the distinction between being hooked on drugs and having kicked said drugs (you don’t see me harping much on Obama’s college drug use)? What’s ridiculous about drawing conclusions about who is naive based on simple demographic facts?
What is ridiculous is saying someone who voted for Alan Keyes “protests too much” about not being a racist.
What is ridiculous is saying you care for society’s weak without being able to mention anything specific you’ve done.
What is ridiculous is attacking a conservative for getting hooked on pain meds while defending a liberal who tried cocaine.
What is ridiculous is calling conservative views “naive” while a) you’re in the minority for your older age group and b) believing that the government actually cares for people.
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